Are you a good old-fashioned country boy or girl tired of getting burned by these city folk? Do you want to make sure you never spend another Valentine’s Day without that down home tall drink of water you deserve? Or are you, like me, single and just looking for anything to distract you from all the photos of happy couples on your Instagram feed? If you answered yes to any of those questions ­– but especially the last one – look no further than!

As soon as you log in to the website, you can tell it’s authentic – only someone thoroughly fed up with all the trappings of fancy city folk could design a modern dating website that looks about as sophisticated as an unofficial Star Wars Fan Club chat room optimized for Windows 2000. Instantly you are immersed in a fascinating environment awkwardly trying to juxtapose traditional Americana with modern hookup culture – one of the t-shirts in their gift shop prominently features a pick-up truck with the caption “Your bed or mine?” The site is perfectly tailored for people who only recently discovered both dating and the Internet. Its FAQ page answers such burning questions as “I’m a woman…. Isn’t it inappropriate to send a flirt?,” “What is your view on catfish?,” and “Does FarmersOnly conduct criminal background checks?” – don’t worry, they don’t!


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